Facial Hair 102

Wednesday, February 2, 2011 - Posted by Amanda Bast
Continuing with my ever so riveting series...

Facial Hair 102: The Goatee

The Goatee is difficult to write about. First of all, it's an entirely bizarre word. Why not a chickentee or a sheeptee? Maybe a llamatee? How did they come up with goat? Second of all, it is hard to define. Is a goatee a circular patch of facial hair surrounding the mouth? Does it have to contain the mustache portion, or can it just be on the chin? Do the chin and mustache portions have to be joined? What if the chin portion is only a tiny soul patch? For the sake of clarity, I will say yes.

I think the wearer of the goatee makes or breaks this type of facial hair. It suits some people, others it doesn't. Take Orlando Bloom for example. He's a good looking guy, but have you seen his goatee?

That's just nasty. General rule of thumb: if your facial hair looks stringy, patchy, or peachy fuzzy it's best to avoid it. Just give up, Orlando. It's not working for you. Here's who it is working for:

Bottom line, goatees are facial hair that most guys can pull off without looking like idiots, weirdos or giant douchebags. It's safe facial hair. If it's grown in nicely, you won't look like a tool, someone's dad, or like you're trying too hard. If it suits your face, go for the goatee.

Added bonus: The environment loves them.