Showing posts with label lollipops. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lollipops. Show all posts

Weird Crap That Freaks Amanda Out - Volume 4 

Saturday, December 4, 2010 - Posted by Amanda Bast
 Things that taste like grape freak me out. I hesitate to even call this "grape" flavour. Grapes, I like. Grape juice, I also like. Artificial grape flavoured stuff, I most definitely do not. Let's not call them grape flavoured, ok? They are purple flavoured things.

I have this extremely vivid memory from when I was maybe 5 or 6. I was sitting on my bunk in the back room of our trailer*. I had some ailment that required Tylenol. There were two Childrens' chewable Tylenol tablets sitting on the table in front of me. I remember staring at them hoping they would either shrink or just go directly through my bellybutton and into my stomach. I nibbled one and gagged. Purple flavour.

That night I learned to swallow pills.

Ever since then, the taste and even the smell of purple things make my stomach turn. If I'm at a function and someone has been drinking grape Crush I find it difficult to talk to them. I can smell it on their breath and it sends shivers down my spine. Worse than knowingly ingesting purple flavour is ingesting it thinking it will taste like something else. I find Starburst jellybeans incredibly deceiving. There are black jellybeans in that bag but they taste like PURPLE. I go for black, and I taste PURPLE.  This is terrifying. This is also why I don't eat Skittles in the dark. I don't trust candy that has purple mixed into it.

If I find that I have purple flavour in my mouth, you will either see me spit it out (if appropriate) or chew, swallow and chase it with anything other than purple. There will also be gagging and possibly yelling involved (it will most likely be supremely girly in nature "ew ew ew ew!"). I'm telling you, it's traumatic and I most definitely cause a scene. If I weed out the purple beforehand, it will either be thrown at someone (again, if appropriate) or given to a purple-loving friend (who of course is not sitting right beside me breathing purple-breath into my face).

A list of purple things to avoid: Skittles**, gumdrops, jellybeans, bubble gum, Jell-o, Kool Aid, grape Crush, suckers, medicine, freezies, popsicles, Nerds, and grape drink (grape juice is to grape drink as orange juice is to Sunny D***),

Yes, I know this is strange and like always, I have come to terms with it. I am comfortable with letting my freak flag fly. My name is Amanda, and I don't like purple things. I hope we can still be friends. If you eat all the purple Skittles, we can be best friends. Just don't breathe on me afterward, mmkay?



*Like, the summer vacation kind of trailer, not the plastic-flamingos-tacky-lights-really-thick-glasses-on-a-guy-named-Bubbles-tornado-through-the-trailer-park kind of trailer. Just to clarify.
 **Original Fruit only. Tropical is safe.
***Fun Sunny D fact: it contains vegetable oil! Yay!

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The Perks 

Wednesday, July 28, 2010 - Posted by Amanda Bast
My mother recently said, "embrace your singleness". I had a discussion with another single friend and this is the list of perks we came up with:

1. You always know what your plans are. You never have to confirm with another person.

2. Lots of free time.

3. Coffee dates with members of the opposite sex are always acceptable.

4. Guys love single ladies. Ladies love single guys.

5. You can sing and dance to that Beyonce song and not feel like a fake.

6. You can answer your Grandma's "do you have a special friend?" question with "actually, I have LOTS of special friends, Grandma".

7. Your Grandma will pray that you stop leading a sinful life and settle down and become monogamous.

8. As long as you don't have a cat, you can pack up and vacation in Fiji in less than a day's notice.

9. You only have to open your own car door.

10. Eating Kraft dinner directly from the pot is considered fine dining.

11. Flirting with the bag boy at the grocery store!

12. Cell phone bills are lower.

13. Farting. And lots of it.

14. I can sleep in a race car bed? (That's the last time Dillis gets to contribute to a blog post)


Feel free to add to the list!

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Inspirational Thought of the Day 

Thursday, February 25, 2010 - Posted by Amanda Bast
Loosely paraphrased from a fellow classmate:

"I was dating this girl, and she asked me what colour I saw when I looked at the forest. I said green, of course. She said that it wasn't just green. She saw light green, dark green, brown, purple, black, yellow - all of these different colours. She helped me to see all of these things I didn't see before. She completely changed my world. She's now my wife."

YES. Yes yes yes.

Yes.

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milestone 

Thursday, January 31, 2008 - Posted by Amanda Bast
Remember the time I was scared to even think about using double pointed needles to knit in the round? Yes, I'm sure you do. It's something we all think about. Again, to refresh your memory, this is what knitting in the round with double pointed needles looks like:
See? Scary. There are eight points of possible injury when you knit like this. Since I like an arts and crafts challenge, I decided to try it anyway. At first, all the needles are like siblings, and they get in each others way and push and shove and are generally not very laid back about not being the centre of attention. It's frustrating. But after awhile, things start to happen, and things start to take shape. Then it becomes really enjoyable.

Then your knitting becomes like a security blanket and you take it everywhere, even though you know you won't have the opportunity to knit, but YOU NEVER KNOW, because if you didn't take it with you everywhere you go, then a stranger might get a hold of it and rip out all your stitches - your beautiful, even stitches - and you would have to start all over again, but it wouldn't be the same because you know that if you had your knitting with you, a stranger wouldn't have gotten a hold of it and ripped stitches out and then you would be half a mitten ahead of where you are now, so it is absolutely necessary that your knitting become like your child because hey, you wouldn't want a stranger ripping out your child's hair now, would you? I didn't think so.


Ahem.


Behold, the beauty of knitting in the round with double pointed needles:Now, when I look at them I can find all the flaws, but they're still pretty rad. There were many hours of Gilmore Girls put into those mitts, including three episodes late last night. I also learned my knitting late at night when overtired is a bad idea lesson once I got to the thumb (I was knitting inside-out and backwards (that takes talent, folks), but I fixed it, but then I dropped stitches on the VERY LAST ROW and had to sew up some gaps..it was eventful), but alas, they are done two weeks ahead of schedule.

p.s. the red knitting above is the start of my next pair!

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